I opened the fridge while my mom was out and ate an entire package of roast turkey.
Sounds like a hitman’s alias!
I licked the butter off of Nick’s toast when he wasn’t looking.
My sister tried to steal my avocado my avocado so I bit her…I should be ashamed but I got my avocado.
Editor’s note: Contrary to popular belief, avocados are not toxic to dogs and cats. They are toxic to birds and horses though! (source)
Came home from a flying lesson pleasantly surprised to find that skip had not destroyed anything significant. My bubble of joy was burst when I walked over to his bed to find my Littmann stethoscope in 2+ pieces. “I ate dad’s $200 stethoscope”
Speedy Lee, a 7 year old chihuahua loves to roll in dirty stinky things. His favourite things are dead worms and bird poo. He typically does it very early on the morning of right before bed, usually requiring a bath at a very inconvenient time for his mom.
“I missed you! It all started so fast … Just a nibble here … ”
Oh — Oskar, if left alone too long, you just can’t resist chewing! Chewing anything … the couch, my mattress, down comforters, 5 pillows, three pairs of sneakers, boxing gloves, three dog beds … It’s like you’re possessed by the story line of ‘Marley & Me’ … poor anxious baby! I promise, I will always come home!
My dog Trucker loves chapstick.
I eat the mulch and bark off the tree. Then throw it up on mom’s bed
Roxy LOVES paper. So much so that we have to put anything made from paper out of reach of our four year old Golden Retriever. Like when a wedding invitation fell out of my wife’s purse without her realizing it, we came home to a few small scraps. No cake for you!