I thought dad’s dress pants needed alterations before they went to the cleaners.
“Hi! Maddie here!
Today I ate my mom’s pads. My roommate’s mom was NOT impressed.
I also discovered that, for some reason, I really dig gluten-free flour.”
Our 5 month old English bulldog loves & craves attention! But when she gets excited, she shows it by peeing all over the place! And it doesn’t matter where she is! On this day she wanted attention from our UPS driver, so she climbed into the truck, but when the UPS driver started loving her up, I saw a waterfall of pee come down the stairs of the truck!
“We thought Mom bought this puppet as our replacement, so we took care of it ourselves. We are so not sorry.”
Our three labradoodles, (note the one in the back with no dignity) hate my daughter’s puppet so much, we had to put it on a high shelf where they couldn’t reach it. They found a way to get to it and murdered the poor toy.
Mom and I are new housemates in a house with other humans. One of them couldn’t wait to upload my cute self on dog shaming.com, so I obliged her by pee-ing on the bathroom floor. You’re welcomed.
Gizmo has a doggie door, so he really has no excuses, and he will see how long his cuteness will let him get away with things like this.
Bauer was curious around the baby stroller at the park since we are not around babies, or little kids much. He sniffed the owners, sniffed the baby’s hand, and then lifted a leg on the front. Pranced away with his head high almost with a smile on his face.
I forgot to flush one day and when I went back into my bedroom there was a a soggy wad of paper in the middle of my room and drips of water leading to the bathroom. Benji had gone into the potty and fished out the used paper, but apparently decided not to eat all of it!
“I ate 10% of my body weight in barbecue and sandwich meat and the vet made me vomit it up. (My mom and the vet are vegetarians.)”
Zoe found and ate 2.5 lbs (she only weighs 23 lbs) of sandwich meat, barbecue chicken, beef, and bones when her mom wasn’t looking. It’s a good thing her mom works at a vet’s office! Her mom and the vet are vegetarians so they really loved cleaning up the vomit – all four rounds of it.
My dog, Josie, skillfully reached up onto the counter and pulled down the lovely pumpkin spice bundt cake I had spent two hours the night before preparing for some friends of mine, and ate the entire thing – all while I was in the shower. She also refused to clean up the crumbs afterwards. Unbelievable.
Dad got a brand new wallet. I ate it 6 hours later… I also eat cat poop.