If the King of Pop wasn’t gone before, he sure is now thanks to me (Long live the new King)
After a long night of pumping his stomach and putting charcoal in…Bentley is ok!
I wrapped the presents this morning and left them under the tree all day. Stella and Darryl had no interest in them until I went out – for 30 minutes. They opened – every – single – one.
Sign reads: “YAY! We opened all the Christmas presents! (It’s November 24)
Lola misses one day of daycare and this is what she does.
This week I destroyed 5 newspapers
Ate all the chocolate truffles out of the kitty toilet
jumped into the bath, got stuck and ate the bath plug
Dennis says it is not his job to keep himself clean.
Went outside for 5 minutes. Came back inside and found the corners of my coffee table missing.
“My name is Winn-Dixie. My interests include: toilet water, cat poop and long, deep sniffs in strangers’ crotches. I also excel at freeing garbage can contents, chewing empty pop cans and feigning regret. I am an adorable monster. Thank you for your time”. Winn-Dixie is a 2 year old Pug/Border Collie mix , don’t ask, it was an accident. She firmly believes “love means never having to say (or be) sorry.”
I grabbed $5 out of mom’s purse and chewed it. That’s right, I ate MONEY.
I can jump 5 feet in the air to catch the neighbours chicken in mid flight, but I wont play Frisbee.
PS. The chicken lived.