Princess candie went missing this morning while out for a pee. She came back smelling of deceased reptile.
I left you my finest selection of explosive poos in the dining room while you were at work. Enjoy!
My name is Noah and when my mommy leaves the house I like to get into the garbage.
If you’re missing a sock, you know where to find it!
‘I get lonely when Mommy showers, so I like to jump into them with her.’ Of course Jasper doesn’t ACTUALLY like to bathe and the few times he has managed to catch me off guard and get into the shower he has gotten so panicked he jumped into my arms and left claw marks up my body.
I lie in the bath and play dead when my human wants me to go out, so it’s too awkward for her to even lift me. I don’t care – bwa ha ha!
Zoe, the bathtub loving pup!
“I utilized my Dog-given rights to scavenge after the dominant predators had eaten. It’s called survival. I feel no shame.”
“I bark for no reason….and since I’m deaf I have no idea how loud I am. <3 Aspen” He only has one tone of voice: loud and shrill!
“IT HAS BEEN: 000 DAYS SINCE I HAVE BITTEN ANYONE”
I let myself into peoples homes and scare the heck out of them when they return.