I ate the other half of this $20 bill….and I watched. But I’m a poop eater so there’s still time for me to take part.
Today, I ate a bag of chips, 2 loaves of bread and an apple pie off the kitchen counter. I’m in huge trouble.
Bigsby, the giant house donkey scarfed down half a week’s worth of groceries in the time it took mom to take a shower. He’s a huge (cute) jerk.
My name is Colonel Barkers. I defy the laws of Physics.
My dog’s crate sits in a closet. Last night, he somehow got through the 4 inch gap between the wall and the crate while I was in the room watching Justified. I have no idea how he did it. His torso is 12 inches wide and his waist is 8 inches. He didn’t jump or climb over, because I would have heard that. I had to lift the whole crate out of there to get him out.
My mommy is pregnant and she des not sleep well. I wake her every hour at night to make sure she is okay. Wonder why she is so grumpy.
Every single time we let her on the bed…
Gunner likes to eat prescription eye glasses and Lena just lets him do it…
“This was a Longaberger basket. I made it a NOlongerberger basket. Love, Snoopy”
After refusting to go out late at night due to the cold, Chloe had me up before 5am to go out to pee. She knew I was upset and just kept feeling guilty in her warm bed…
My boxer, Pearl, decided to annihilate my stethoscope while I was at work.
She can’t even show her face she’s so ashamed.