I got all rambunctious running around, tried to do a lap on the couch, and hip checked the wall. Was that wrong?
I don’t always get in the trash but when I do, I make sure it’s on the carpet and that I take a giant dump afterwards.
I heard Wilma chewing on something. Thought it was a bone. It was not a bone.
I pee on everything, including my friends.
(Anything unmarked or unfamilar to Mack gets peed on. This includes but is not limited too: A deep-fryer, plastic trash bags, a Shark steam mop, cat litter boxes, cats, smaller dogs, a pack of Ice Mountain water, poor defenseless brown paper bags, people’s purses/backpacks, a space heater, a magazine rack… Yeah. He’s a craphead.)
After plenty of fights to brush her, Leila decides it’s a good idea to eat her own fur. I doubt she’s even the slightest bit ashamed.
The sign says “I eat magazines. But only the newest issues! – Schroeder”
Hi, I’m Mandy. I ate half of a wooden spatula.
I ate my moms new winter coat.
Ellie Mae always finds a way to rat out her brother, Riley (nicknamed “the goat”) for everything he eats…
Zeus decided he wasn’t fond of his dad grading his students’ Latin exam so he decided to have a little snack.
“I didn’t want daddy to grade his students’ exams, so I ate them! I’m not sorry at all. -Zeus”