I heard Wilma chewing on something. Thought it was a bone. It was not a bone.
I pee on everything, including my friends.
(Anything unmarked or unfamilar to Mack gets peed on. This includes but is not limited too: A deep-fryer, plastic trash bags, a Shark steam mop, cat litter boxes, cats, smaller dogs, a pack of Ice Mountain water, poor defenseless brown paper bags, people’s purses/backpacks, a space heater, a magazine rack… Yeah. He’s a craphead.)
After plenty of fights to brush her, Leila decides it’s a good idea to eat her own fur. I doubt she’s even the slightest bit ashamed.
The sign says “I eat magazines. But only the newest issues! – Schroeder”
Hi, I’m Mandy. I ate half of a wooden spatula.
I ate my moms new winter coat.
Ellie Mae always finds a way to rat out her brother, Riley (nicknamed “the goat”) for everything he eats…
Zeus decided he wasn’t fond of his dad grading his students’ Latin exam so he decided to have a little snack.
“I didn’t want daddy to grade his students’ exams, so I ate them! I’m not sorry at all. -Zeus”
Sadly, this is not the first time. No, the first time was when I was standing at the kitchen window looking out in the back yard wondering “what is that laying in the yard.” As I walked out there and got closer that knot in my stomach grew bigger and bigger realizing what I was going to have to pick up, hoping none of the neighbors were looking.
I ate a pound of raw bacon off the counter… while mamma was on the phone…