Frankie found her dad’s custom-made night guard on his nightstand and chewed it up into tiny little shards of useless plastic. Replacement cost: $500.
Today I got into the garbage AND escaped the backyard to chase a cat. I am a trash eating, cat chasing jerk!
Elmo pooped purple yesterday. Then he was caught eating a yellow crayon to confirm my suspicions.
My name is Abby, and I have an Pillow-Licking problem. I will lick every single pillow on the couch, then lay on top of them. I am not sorry.
Instead of stopping to poop like a normal dog, Bella will poop and keep walking, forcing me to play tug of war with the poop on the ground and her trying to keep going!
I’ll chew all my parents’ coasters until they allow me to drink with them. Cacau.
Mom wouldn’t buy me a new bed in the Pottery Barn catalog, so I shredded it.
When I sleep in bed with my parents I lick my dad’s leg until he moves to the couch…then I steal his pillows!
I roll in goat poop (it is just for fun)