This is what Dad came home to…
Posts Categorized: Third Wheel
This is my dog, Bandit. I walked in the bedroom yesterday to find him biting open brand new condom packages to eat the condoms inside. He’d already eaten one & was working on the other when I found him.
Cookie has a BAD habit of waking her mommy & daddy at 4:30am with a barrage of kisses. When she’s certain that we’re awake, she goes back to sleep!
“I found out I was not included in my Mom and Dad’s vacation to Turkey and Greece next month, so I ate Dad’s passport. Next time, do what’s right and these ‘accidents’ won’t happen! Love, Addie”
Sadie is our 7 year old PERFECT, FLAWLESS Japanese Chin/Papillon mix. She doesn’t generally bark, get in the trash or chew objects. She is excellent with people of all ages! Almost therapeutic! We really can’t see life without her- however she does have one obsession, a defective trait. She likes to watch her parents during VERY inappropriate times. We have attempted putting her out of the room on several occasions, however, she only scratches, whines, howls, whimpers and knocks for re-entry repetitively! When she is allowed back in she immediately hops on the end of the bed and looks away only to refocus her attention back on us once the “activity” resumes. She always takes a seat at the very end of the bed!!!!
We have come to accept the fact that our perfect little girl is a voyeur and if this is her only flaw we can live with it, because we simply cannot live without her.
I went under the bed and totally chewed the nose piece and head strap off of my daddy’s CPAP machine. The only way my daddy sleeps without snoring is by wearing this mask. Now neither my mommy nor my daddy will be able to sleep. But I’ll sleep just fine burrowed under the covers-and that’s all that matters!
I crawl between my parents at night and push my dad out of bed. Dad sleeps on the couch now…I get mom and a queen size bed to myself.
“I chewed a bunch of fur off my butt when my sitter was staying w/ us & now I’m itchy AND in the cone of SHAME.”
Miles had no shame when it comes to not sharing his side of the bed. He moves for no man. He is doing a great job of making sure his mom stays single.
Cappie is the world’s sweetest dog, but during meals, he has an unwavering creeper stare. You may not see him if he’s all the way under the table, but you will definitely feel his presence. While there’s no concrete evidence to date, we’re fairly certain he’s capable of stealing souls. At the very least, we know he’s capable of stealing turkey. Usually, he gets at least a nibble of dinner, but tonight is street taco night, and Cappie’s mom says onions are a no-no for dogs 🙁